For this year’s annual summit, we all signed liability waivers absolving Mekanism of any guilt in the event of our deaths in exchange for free drinks. Then, we packed our bags and headed to Cabo San Lucas for some much needed quality company time at an all-inclusive resort appropriately named, “The Fiesta Americana.” Because you know what they say, “Nothing cements the bonds of employee friendship like binge drinking on someone else’s dime,” or something. Here’s a recap of what we did. Or least what we remember of what we did.
To ease into our Meksican vacation we paired off on “blind dates” to better acquaint ourselves. Not surprisingly, we discovered that we all have a lot in common. Namely a mutual love of margaritas, a penchant for sexually deviant behavior, and a willingness to over share.
Blind dates turned into dancing… which of course turned into circle twerking… which ended with me bullying a few of the Mek ladies into skinny dipping with me using equal parts verbal abuse and forceful nude persuasion. I apologize for the latter part.
The highlight of the trip (besides our morning full of thought provoking presentations) was the Jungle Booze Cruise. It should be noted that the word “jungle” was left out of the description when we were getting ready for the excursion, which explains why the ladies of Mek were dressed so elegantly. In retrospect, an airbrushed tank, henna tramp stamp, and beaded corn rows would have been more appropriate attire for the shit show we were about to embark on. But what made this Jungle Cruise so special?
Well, besides having tequila poured directly into your face hole by a pirate with a rape whistle and what I will gently refer to as “Muppet genitalia,” the Jungle Cruise also offered a live DJ and whale watching! Because what’s the point of drinking if you’re not also aggressively chasing Earth’s most majestic creatures into the sunset with the hit crunk single, “Shots,” playing at a decibel not legal in the United States?
After the Jungle Cruise, McGary and Niki switched clothes and we all had a good laugh because boys aren’t supposed to wear dresses and we are so silly sometimes! It was a quiet bus ride back.
For our final day, we split off into small groups to enjoy more wholesome recreational hobbies that wouldn’t show up in a urine test. Activities included surfing, horseback riding on the beach, extreme ATV adventures, and for the less physically inclined (myself) – outdoor napping punctuated by “another Miami Vice, por favor.”
It was a really great day.
We capped off the trip by squeezing 50 people into an 8 person Jacuzzi (Mexico style) and vowing never to speak of Tom taking a body shot off of Edward again because we all signed the liability waiver and sometimes those things happen.
Overall, we had a fantastic time and almost all of us were able to make eye contact on Monday. Viva Mas Fuerte Mekanism!