There is so much that went on this week that was important:

1. Macaulay Culkin turned 30 (you’re old) (that was last week, I’m lazy, though)
2. It was national “902010″ day on Thursday when the date was 09.02.10 (no seriously, you’re old)
3. There was a new Between Two Ferns, which is the best programming on the internet, ever, multiplied by ever plus three.
4. The Arcade Fire and Google made a baby and it’s better looking than Shiloh Jolie-Pitt. (we’ll get to that)

With that, let’s get to some great ways to waste your life away on the internet on a Friday.

Here’s the crap we liked on the internet this week.

Brendan Gahan (@BrendanGahan): Atormenta

“I wish I had the patience to create something this beautiful, but I’ve got the attention span of a two year old.”

Ryan Lee (@owlsquid): Power Laces Prototype

iPads look like total bullsh*t compared to this. I would pay $600 dollars for this, and the 3g service is probably better than AT&T’s. NERD TALK.

Gino Click (@ginobot): Brenda & David Dance on 90210

“In honor of the date 90210, which won’t occur for another hundred years. Also, do any left handed guitar players want to start a creepy single guitar band?”

Shepard Wallace (@regularshep): Mommy & Daddy Song

If you are to believe these posts as the only browsing history of Shepard Wallace, one could presuppose that he only watches:

1) Videos that are auto-tuned.

2) Videos that are from the zoo.

And actually? I’m totally okay with that.

Elijah Bilotta (@frodoBKK): The Wilderness Downtown

“This the best thing that has ever happened to the internet. Because of it I learned how to use iTunes so I could actually pay money for the song in it. Thank you, Arcade Fire. i hope every other band follows in your footsteps.”

Natira Suchoknand: Humboldt Penguins Chasing a Butterfly

This makes me so happy I feel awkward. I don’t know what to say, even. I mean, I feel like an eight year old made up this video.

Drew Hoolhorst (@drewber): Dancing Merengue Dog

I can’t take care of myself that well, let alone own a dog and take care of it, let alone TEACH IT TO DANCE BETTER THAN I CAN.

It’s ridiculous. But c’mon. Try to turn it off. It’s a dog Merengue dancing.

Here’s the best part about me selecting this. When the Apple Keynote was going on, Ryan (who sits directly next to me) was curious if I was watching it, so he looked over to my monitor and saw…this instead.

It would have almost been less embarrassing if I had been looking at porn.

See you next Friday, everyone.

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It’s funny because it’s true.

(And it’s funny because this is real. And was just spotted in a conference room.)

(We still think you’re important, Pete.)

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My favorite part about this column I get to write weekly so far (Like how I called it a “column”? Isn’t that adorably naive?) is the part of every week where I have to ask my boss:

Drew: “Hey Jason, is it okay if I put the video on the blog where the girl talks about how she wants to..”

Jason: “No.”

Drew: “Okay.”

Because, while you can propose just about anything at Mekanism (I mean, I’ve been in a room where the idea “F*ck China” was proposed, and it was one of the, “yeah, that might work” ideas, soooo…), you still can’t really just throw up total inappropriateness on the company blog. But it’s really fun to try.

In honor of this, I’d like to at least direct you kind of maybe sort of towards a video that was sent to me, in an ACTUAL viral manner this week (I’m not saying click the link but CLICK THAT LINK). As in, a friend ACTUALLY just sent me a video randomly, a lost art in the world I live in. And the best part?

One of the guys in the video is my new co-worker, Matt Lenski.

When things like that happen, I remember how awesome my industry can actually be. I remember the core of how “viral video” got popular:

It’s a small world, and sometimes, awesome content just falls in your lap, and you know the guy in the video who plays, “Carter, the gay friend who’s a closeted straight.”

Here’s the crap we liked on the internet this week.

Brendan Gahan (@BrendanGahan): Drunk girls face-plant on to hard concrete from shopping cart

Brendan was too busy to select a video this week. So my knee jerk reaction was, “what about that video where the girl falls out a of a shopping cart?” So, that seems like a healthy reaction that this is my first idea for a “funny video”.

Ryan Lee (@owlsquid): Wheelchair Backflip

Once you get over the “I’m an asshole but that’s funny” part in the beginning where people in wheelchairs are biting it, you then realize how much better at life this person is than you. So then you feel:

a) Not that good about laughing at the biting it parts and

b) Really nonathletic.

Gino Click (@ginobot): Time Crisis – Ft. Andy Whitfield

“If you’ve ever played a shooting game, you’ll enjoy this. If I don’t show up to work on monday, it’s because I’m at the arcade still trying to beat Time Crisis.” (freddiew makes some pretty amazing videos…and his latest, Future Rock Band, is worth a look as well)

Shepard Wallace (@regularshep): Procrastination

Procrastination. We all do it. Just not as well as these guys.

Elijah Bilotta (@frodoBKK): İsmail YK – Çılgın – Facebook Klip Tanıtımı

Lots of people may have heard about the Turkish Facebook music video but I bet no one watched it long enough to catch the last 2 minutes. It’s like Stomp the Yard meets Armageddon.

Natira Suchoknand: Star Wars Tai Chi

Darth Vader does Tai Chi. I don’t think much more needs to be said, other than the fact that a girl just posted a Darth Vader video. So, I’m guessing a lot of Star Wars nerds are going to ask if Natira is single now.

Drew Hoolhorst (@drewber): Marcel The Shell With Shoes On

Hands down, this is my favorite thing I’ve seen on the internet in a very long time. I think I’ve been quoting it for 8 days straight, and it’s JUST not getting old yet.

It’s pretty funny how they came up with the idea, too. You can read about it over here.

I am not sure how I selected drunk girls falling out of a shopping cart as the first video for this post, and ended with the most adorable video of all time. What can I say. I’m both trashy and classy, all at once.

See you next Friday, everyone.

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